how to deal with unwanted and unexpected guests

Verse: 2.56: One who is not disturbed in mind even amidst the threefold miseries or elated when there is happiness, and who is free from attachment, fear and anger, is called a sage of steady mind.

Unwanted and unexpected guests. What kind of emotion do you experience reading those four words? Elation and happiness or worry and anxiety? I'm guessing most would pick the latter two emotions. ;)

In the world we live in today, it's getting rarer to receive unexpected guests (if you exclude the random door-door salesperson), wouldn't you agree? With the advent of cell phones, email and texting it's much easier to just check in to see if somebody is home before you visit. If you're one those people who feels this way, you may be surprised to find out that there are three unwanted and unexpected guests that show up almost daily (and they certainly don't check in to see if the timing is convenient for you to visit!).

The aftereffects of their visit can be summed up by the words anxious, upset, frustrated, worried and distracted. The Gita speaks about them in detail to educate us so that we can be aware of their effects and become aware of their stealthy attacks. In fact, the Gita expands on how these are the "side dishes" that come along with having a body. The annoying part? You can't request them to be left out. They're part of the whole material body package.

They come in these three forms:

1) Distress that comes as a result of nature.
2) Distress that comes as a result of other living beings.
3) Distress that arises due our own body and mind.

Distress due to nature....the subject matter of many a conversation! When I went to India last month, I got an opportunity to do so many wonderful things and was feeling so grateful. But (isn't there almost always a but?!), it was unbelievably hot. It was so hot that by mid afternoon my clothes would be soaked with so much perspiration that there would be salt stains left behind. Eww...I know. The heat was just unbelievable and definitely disturbed me. I chuckle, because at the present moment there are blowing ice pellets falling outside my window and I'm already dreading my walk to the bus stop. These are just minor examples of the disturbances we may experience as a result of nature, what to speak of huge floods, famines and tsunamis.

The second type of distress may arise due to other living beings. Remember the last time something said something negative about you? Primo example. For many of us, that's one of the things that causes us great disturbance both emotionally and mentally. However, this type of distress is not limited to only other humans. Other living entities also cause us grief. I'm shaking my head recalling an incident last summer when a mosquito was buzzing close to my ear and prevented me from falling asleep for two hours!

Finally, the third unwanted guest that may cause us to be disturbed is our own body and mind. Anytime the body gives us any pain or suffering, it's so hard to stay equipoised. Our mind especially causes as problems. As discussed yesterday, it is constantly trying to find ways so that we may gratify our senses and if it fails, we're in for it. I remember in first year of University I was in so much anxiety thinking I was going to fail my Calculus final that I couldn't get out of bed. My worry literally paralyzed me for an hour. My personal observation is that oftentimes disturbances that arise due to one's own mind and body may be the hardest to overcome.

So why this analysis of these three unwanted and unexpected guests? Because it's hard to know how to deal with an unwanted and unexpected guest if we're not even aware that that's what they are! The Gita is explaining that this is not just a part of "normal life" and it's not something we should just accept. These are incentives to realize that we are not this body.

By recognizing these unwanted guests as temporary visitors, we can choose to stop giving them the power to dictate our emotions, resources and reactions. Instead we can utilize these moments as opportunities to dive deeper into discovering who we really are - the eternal and ever-blissful soul.

one of my favorite verses!

Verse 2.14: O son of Kuntī, the nonpermanent appearance of happiness and distress, and their disappearance in due course, are like the appearance and disappearance of winter and summer seasons. They arise from sense perception, O scion of Bharata, and one must learn to tolerate them without being disturbed.

I'm so happy! Today I get to write about one of my top three ABSOLUTE favorite verses of the Gita. Verse 2.14. Why do I love this verse....oh probably for a million different reasons. I'll share the top five that came to mind today.

1. It's so beautiful. From a purely literary standpoint, this verse screams poetic. The imagery is just so vivid. Can you not just picture the melting of the snow, the warmth of the sun, the coldness of a windy, screaming blizzard and the scorching heat on a mid-summer's afternoon? These images mimic so beautifully our own experiences of feeling happiness and distress.

2. I love similes. For those of you who might have forgotten the rules of English (hehehe!) a simile is used when comparing two things using "like" or "as". In this case Krsna is comparing our experiences/feelings to seasons.

3. The reminder that happiness and distress are non-permanent is so expertly conveyed here. Everyone can relate to the winter and summer seasons having a definite beginning and an end, right? (Though that being said, sometimes Canadian winters do seem to drag on forever!) We often hear people say, "I can't wait for Spring," or conversely "I can't wait until Winter is over!" The thing is when it comes to experiencing feelings of happiness or sadness, we forget that the same temporariness applies during our actual experience of them. When someone is up they are really up and often feel like nothing can bring them down, but conversely the opposite is so true as well. Krsna is so sweetly and kindly reminding us of that fact and saying, "Hey! Don't get too caught up in those waves of highs and lows."

4. An extremely important truth is brought here. The idea that happiness and distress arise due to sense perception. What does that mean? One way of looking at is that one person's pleasure is another person's pain. Hence, there is no such thing (in the material world) of absolute happiness or absolute distress. As well, this reminds us that this happiness and distress we are experiencing is the interaction of the senses with the sense objects. It's not the soul that is actually taking pleasure or displeasure in these experiences, it is the body and mind that are decoding it as "good" or "bad".

5. So Krsna begins with a beautiful comparison that illustrates the temporariness of our enjoyment, then delves deeper by explaining exactly it arises from come from (sense perception) and then finally concludes powerfully by saying "one must learn to tolerate them without being disturbed" Wow, personally, that's a pretty tall order. But before getting into that a bit deeper, let's first just rewind and unpack what "tolerate without being disturbed" actually means.

First of all, this does not propound that one shouldn't feel and/or repress one's emotions. Secondly, it is crucial to note that this phrase applies not just to our experiences of distress but ALSO those of happiness (and everything in between). That's right. One should "tolerate" happiness. So why does Krsna use the word tolerate here? He does so because he's trying to stress that these experiences actually have no impact on the soul and since we are the soul, we should tolerate them!.

The soul cannot be satisfied by anything material. Krsna is saying that everyone will have these experiences, since these experiences arise due to the bodily senses coming in contact with the sense objects. But remember! We are not our senses! So if we are not our senses, why are we investing so much time and energy and throwing ourselves into the experiences that arise due to them? Doesn't make a lot of sense does it? Instead Krsna is giving us a recommendation. Why not accept that these experiences come, but learn to be aloof. That way when these experiences come and emotions arise you can view them more objectively instead of becoming attached to them.

On the most practical level, when a bhakti yogi learns to tolerate happiness and distress, it allows him/her to become fixed in their practice of bhakti yoga. How often have we not accomplished or done something simply because we didn't "feel like it"? Furthermore, when one actually tolerates happiness and distress (go ahead and try it out for yourself!) one can see more clearly how often we attach importance to little things. This doesn't come easy and it take purification of heart, but next time you feel yourself feeling very distraught or supremely happy, take a step back. Analyze where those feelings are coming from. If you're happy, take the opportunity to thank God and if you're sad, remember that this too will pass.