a lesson in reading

Verse 2.37: O son of Kuntī, either you will be killed on the battlefield and attain the heavenly planets, or you will conquer and enjoy the earthly kingdom. Therefore, get up with determination and fight.

When reading, do you imbibe the true meaning of the shapes and letters your eyes are taking in? Answer honestly now. :) I freely admit that I often read but don't truly ingest what I'm looking at.

Case in point, today's verse. As I was reading the verse, my attention fell upon the word "determination." Captured by that word, I decided to do something new- I looked up its etymology. What I came across surprised me and threw the meaning of this verse into a completely different light.

My definition of "determination" is a mix of these adjectives: strong-willed, perseverance, not giving up. However, looking on the online etymology dictionary, I was intrigued to find out that this word is derived from the mid-14th century Old French word déterminacion (decision, sentence) and from the Latin word determinationem (conclusion, boundary). For those who may not be so familiar, etymology not only refers to the derivation of a word but the chronological account of its birth, development and evolving changes in form and meaning (as per dictionary.com).

What's interesting is that the definition of determination has changed over the years. Its meaning went from decision or conclusion to the quality of being resolute. Now one might protest and say, "Well that's the same thing, isn't it?" My humble answer to that question is yes and no.

See, it's easy to say "the quality of being resolute" if one knows how to be resolute. That's where the problem lies. How does one become resolute? The original definition gives the complete picture because it gives one the tools of how to be resolute - make up your mind! Come to a conclusion, decision and stick with it!

That's what being determined really means. It means nothing can sway you from your path/choice. In fact, it makes me realize that my original understanding of the word "determination" was quite inadequate. Being strong-willed and not giving up are important factors, but that can only come into play if you are truly convinced and fixed.

Why is this word so important? Because that's what it takes to follow through on any decision, whether it be fighting for righteousness and protection, as is the case for Arjuna, or attempting to follow a spiritual path, like that of bhakti yoga.

Determination is crucial in the path of bhakti since one faces so many impediments, the most dangerous of them being the mind. The fickle mind flits about from idea to idea and never likes to rest in one place. The thing is, love isn't about being fickle. Love is about steadiness and depth which doesn't come easy. It takes great determination to stick to a practice, person or relationship and that's how bhakti (the yoga of love) helps us in not only connecting with the Supreme, but with one another.

So the next time you feel yourself floundering when it comes to your personal practice, whether it be listening to the sound of the mantra you are chanting or simply taking the time to read a bhakti text, take heart. Determination is about conviction, making a conscious choice of commitment and never giving up.

now vs. later

Verse 1.31: I do not see how any good can come from killing my own kinsmen in this battle, nor can I, my dear Kṛṣṇa, desire any subsequent victory, kingdom, or happiness

Here we see Arjuna ponder the question that we face on a daily basis. What's more important - immediate or delayed gratification ? Although everyone likes to say that it's the delayed or long-term rewards that are normally more important, it's very much easier said than done.

The main reason for that is because attaining delayed results requires sacrifice. It requires that we work, without necessarily seeing any results right away, and it also means we need to have faith that what we're doing is worthwhile. If there's no faith, then we'll lose the determination to continue on when we hit one of those "Why am I doing this again?" moments.

This point is so relevant to any aspiring bhakti practitioner because sometimes you feel like nothing is happening. It's very, very common. Long-time practitioners often say that when they first began practicing bhakti yoga it was like ambrosia. They felt the presence of Krsna, everything seemed to come so easy and they felt so happy. But then...the shoe dropped. All of a sudden everything became so difficult. They started seeing so many negative aspects of themselves, they found it difficult to follow various spiritual principles and were shocked.

What happened? The answer these practitioners gave was simple. See, Krsna is the ultimate salesperson. Know when you go to a store and they give you a free sample and you really like it? Well what happens if you want more? Sure maybe the really nice samplers might sneak you an extra one but if you really want more you have to pay. That's right! Where do you think that concept came from? Krsna of course!

So similarly Krsna will give you some free samples. He'll show you, "See how wonderful the practice of bhakti can be?" But then....he'll make you pay because nothing worthwhile is free. Krsna, however, doesn't want your money. He wants something much more valuable - your love. And how does that love practically manifest? Through time, patience, determination, service and all the other intangibles that we often take for granted. Of course, that doesn't last forever, but it's important to realize that when those moments do arise, it's so that we can grow and develop in our bhakti journey.

That being said, the practice of bhakti is also full of lots of immediate experiences and results. Ask anyone who has sat in a kirtan (the singing of mantras accompanied with music), it's instant bliss. Or another example is eating food that has been cooked and offered to Krsna with a beautiful consciousness. These are the things that always keep one going.

So next time it seems like the going is not only going to get rough but also tough, remember - great things come to those who wait (and persevere)!