a lesson in reading

Verse 2.37: O son of Kuntī, either you will be killed on the battlefield and attain the heavenly planets, or you will conquer and enjoy the earthly kingdom. Therefore, get up with determination and fight.

When reading, do you imbibe the true meaning of the shapes and letters your eyes are taking in? Answer honestly now. :) I freely admit that I often read but don't truly ingest what I'm looking at.

Case in point, today's verse. As I was reading the verse, my attention fell upon the word "determination." Captured by that word, I decided to do something new- I looked up its etymology. What I came across surprised me and threw the meaning of this verse into a completely different light.

My definition of "determination" is a mix of these adjectives: strong-willed, perseverance, not giving up. However, looking on the online etymology dictionary, I was intrigued to find out that this word is derived from the mid-14th century Old French word déterminacion (decision, sentence) and from the Latin word determinationem (conclusion, boundary). For those who may not be so familiar, etymology not only refers to the derivation of a word but the chronological account of its birth, development and evolving changes in form and meaning (as per dictionary.com).

What's interesting is that the definition of determination has changed over the years. Its meaning went from decision or conclusion to the quality of being resolute. Now one might protest and say, "Well that's the same thing, isn't it?" My humble answer to that question is yes and no.

See, it's easy to say "the quality of being resolute" if one knows how to be resolute. That's where the problem lies. How does one become resolute? The original definition gives the complete picture because it gives one the tools of how to be resolute - make up your mind! Come to a conclusion, decision and stick with it!

That's what being determined really means. It means nothing can sway you from your path/choice. In fact, it makes me realize that my original understanding of the word "determination" was quite inadequate. Being strong-willed and not giving up are important factors, but that can only come into play if you are truly convinced and fixed.

Why is this word so important? Because that's what it takes to follow through on any decision, whether it be fighting for righteousness and protection, as is the case for Arjuna, or attempting to follow a spiritual path, like that of bhakti yoga.

Determination is crucial in the path of bhakti since one faces so many impediments, the most dangerous of them being the mind. The fickle mind flits about from idea to idea and never likes to rest in one place. The thing is, love isn't about being fickle. Love is about steadiness and depth which doesn't come easy. It takes great determination to stick to a practice, person or relationship and that's how bhakti (the yoga of love) helps us in not only connecting with the Supreme, but with one another.

So the next time you feel yourself floundering when it comes to your personal practice, whether it be listening to the sound of the mantra you are chanting or simply taking the time to read a bhakti text, take heart. Determination is about conviction, making a conscious choice of commitment and never giving up.

balance.

Verse 2.4: Arjuna said: O killer of enemies, O killer of Madhu, how can I counterattack with arrows in battle men like Bhīṣma and Droṇa, who are worthy of my worship?

I find it interesting how Arjuna speaks of counteracting those who are worthy of worship with arrows. Again, this is very relatable even in our own lives. Just replace actual arrows with the arrow-like words that we sometimes use to pierce people's hearts.

Ever speak harsh words to someone worthy of worship? Shamefully, I have to admit I do. All the time. They are called my parents! Mercifully they still love me and tolerate me but sometimes my temper gets the better of me and I say something that is just mean-spirited.

It's often hard to think of those who are nearest and dearest to us as those worthy of our worship. My parents are not only worthy of such respect because they are my parents, but they are also great bhakti yogis. I think that's where the problem lies. When we have a particular relationship with someone, it colours our perception. And it works both ways. We either become too familiar and forget to see whatever greatness that lies there or conversely we only see the good and then we are not able to recognize short-comings which we possibly might try to emulate.

In my own personal instance, I definitely fall into the "too familiar category." Interestingly though, Arjuna is falling into the "rose-coloured glasses category." As we'll hear about tomorrow, Bhīṣma and Droṇa are not conducting themselves in a way that is worthy of respect.

It's a balancing act. Whether it be regular life, or even more importantly, spiritual life, balance is required. If we are unable to see things "as they are" then our judgement and perception can be easily clouded. Hence, the importance of once again having a spiritual mentor. Such a person, who is balanced themselves, or as the Gita describes, is equipoised, can help sort us out. They can tell us when we are veering too far to the left or to the right and help ground us in the middle.

You know, today I really didn't know what to write about. There are days when I really feel that I haven't written anything and instead I've just been there watching as words appear on the page. Today was such a day. I think Krsna knew that I needed to be reminded of these two points. Firstly, there are several persons worthy of our respect/worship that surround us and it's important to recognize them and be aware of how we treat them. Secondly, being balanced in how we not only view others but in everything that we do is extremely necessary in the practice of bhakti; the only way we can learn to become equipoised is from those who already live it.